The government had announced the slogan “SWACHH BHARAT (CLEAN INDIA)” with much ado, but our esteemed “city”zens and “netizens” from all walks of life carry on their lives with usual nonchalance, making a mockery of the government’s efforts. It is WE, the people who gave ourselves the Constitution. Also, it is WE, the people who gave ourselves the garbage mess! A “careful” observation of my fellow “city”zens over the years made me realize that birds of the same feather may not flock together, especially when it comes to disposing the garbage!! Here are the characteristics of different “players” who “help” in keeping our land as “KACHRA” as possible…this finding may be of use to wannabe researchers.
Stealthy bombers: These people are like the B-2 stealth bombers (of the US Army) that are undetected by the RADAR! They wait till the middle of the night to throw their missiles…err… garbage and avoid detection by their neighbours, and earn their envy!
Chuckers: These people carry their garbage as if they carry household essentials…but in a fraction of a second, they throw their garbage bag in the dump of their choice…exceeding the legal limit of 15 degrees of permissible straightening of the elbow joint set by the International Dumping Council! However, as they have perfected this art, no one seemed to have noticed their act (except myself)! I wonder whether they should be “banned” for crossing the legal limit of 15 degrees or for dumping the garbage on the roadside!
Bold and the beautiful…err… ugly: These people follow the words of Swami Vivekananda literally: Arise, awake, stop not till the goal is reached! They are head strong, “head” straight (no “U” turns!) to the dump carrying their garbage as if they are on a mission, throw their garbage on the roadside without any hesitation… never mind what people will think about them and walk upright without looking back…patting their back with the job well done…of keeping their “houses” filth and odour free!
Throwers: These people are always on the run… they do not have the time, energy, and patience to concentrate on trivial matters…like dumping their garbage in the designated dustbins or “undesignated” roadsides! They just throw their flying saucers…err… garbage bag from their balconies with effortless ease…putting to shame the likes of Gayles, Villiers, and McCullums! Detectives can easily find the direction/angle from which a bullet is shot, but no one…not even…the famed Scotland Yard…will ever be able to find the direction from which the garbage bag is thrown! The only possible clue one can get is the generation of “thud” sound on its successful landing! Hopefully, NASA and ISRO will learn a lesson or two…on successful launch and landing!
Dumpers: These people play the “waiting game”… expecting the civic agency responsible for collecting garbage to turn up in a day or two! As the day never came, they resign to their fate, dumping their accumulated filth on the place where they desisted from throwing…with the mission of keeping their surroundings clean!
Jugglers: These people ride on their two wheelers deftly, balancing the trash on one hand and a mobile on the other hand! On finding a “suitable” dump, they swiftly release the garbage bag like the sling released by David…hitting the Goliath…err…the “eye” of a garbage dump, without even slowing down their two wheelers! Of course, it goes without saying that they carry on their work…with utmost professionalism!
“Torch” bearers: These people do not have the patience to either throw or wait for the civic agency to pick up their “stuff”! They just “torch” the trash along with the plastic cover, with the heady feeling that they have saved the trouble and money of civic agencies in collecting and disposing their garbage! In this way, they help their fellow brethren who mainly inhale vehicular pollution to “smell” a different type of toxin, breaking their monotonous daily rut!
Diversifiers: These people take the word “diversity” very seriously in their life…to the extent of mixing the dry waste, wet waste, garden waste, hazardous waste, et al. even when the civic agencies request them to segregate their waste @home. They will not mend their ways whether they are coaxed, pleaded, or threatened! It goes without saying that segregation is anathema to the people of this ilk!
Chokers: Long before the tag “chokers” stuck to the South African cricket team, these people had taken their name seriously. These people keep their surroundings…above ground level…“squeaky” clean with no traces (?) of filth…except that they learnt the “Houdini act” (disappearing act) with perfection! They make their garbage “invisible” to the naked eye by throwing it inside the drain, which acts as a “black hole”, and choke the drain with ease. It is no surprise that the chokers’ expertise, along with their garbage, come to the fore during flooding!
Before ending the blog, a small note from the field of agriculture! In agriculture, pests are a major source of problem to the farmers. Hence initially, agricultural scientists created the slogan “pest eradication”. When the scientists realized that it was not possible to eradicate pests, they switched over to “pest control”. Later when they realized, that it was not even possible to control pests, they finally settled on the slogan “pest management”. Likewise, the day is not far off when the government realizes that, at the most, they can only “manage the garbage”, they can neither eradicate (SWACHH) nor control the generation of garbage!
After all, our cityzens are “trained and certified” to keep only their ROTI, KAPDA, aur
MAKAAN.COM SWACHH! The moment the cityzens “mess up the roadside”, it was,… it is,… it will be the government’s responsibility! The least that we can show our fellow cityzens and netizens who perform their “tasks” with zeal is… some sympathy!
Signing off without scrap (?)
NB: Please feel free to raise your questions regarding the category to which I belong…however, do not expect any reply!